Comedian Nikki Glaser shredded Vice President Kamala Harris, saying that she was a missing person, in a hilarious comedy bit that also took aim at President Joe Biden, former President Donald Trump and others.
“Listen, I know we’re having fun right now, but on a serious note, I do want to say, Kamala Harris is still missing”, she said as she hosted ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ on Thursday.
“And if you have any information on her whereabouts, please contact her parents, they miss her, we don’t, but they do,” she said of the vice president.
“I have a theory though that we haven’t seen much of the vice president lately because she’s sentenced herself to jail.
“I think she just missed the rush of putting an innocent person behind bars,” she said. “Have you done it? It feels great”.
On President Biden she said, “Joe Biden he’s so old – he had COVID 1.
“If he gets a second term, it’s actually very exciting,” she said. “He’ll be the first president in his eighties and the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub”.
She hit Republicans too in doing what many comedians used to do, take swipes at politicians of every party.
She also hit Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg:
“What a trailblazer this guy is. He proves that just because you’re gay, does not mean you’re cool. Poor Pete. Pete, I’m so sorry you got stuck with overseeing transportation. I haven’t seen a gay man that disappointed since I had sex with my first boyfriend.”
On House Speaker and California Rep. Nancy Pelosi she said “OK, it would be easy to make a joke about Nancy Pelosi’s looks, but I actually think the embalmers did a really good job so I’m not gonna go there. Nancy Pelosi. She’s such a giving person, she even donated the extra skin from her face lift to reinforce Mitch McConnell’s jawline”.
“Good ol’ scrotum neck. You know, I’ve always wondered what that thing in the back of my throat looks like up close, and now I know. God, now that I’ve seen that photo of Mitch, my vagina is under severe drought restrictions. He makes me dryer than a Mormon wedding,” she said of Senate Minority Leader and Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell.
And on Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders she said, “Bernie Sanders looks like the guy you sit next to on a southwest flight who eats hard boiled eggs out of a plastic bag”.
One of the most recent times we heard from Vice President Harris was after former President Donald Trump’s house was raided by the FBI.
She was aboard Air Force Two when reporters asked her about the raid and on the suspect who attempted to breach the FBI Cincinnati field office.
“I know that you’ve been very busy today, but as a former prosecutor, do you have any reaction to the unsealed search warrant that was served on President Donald Trump?” a reporter said.
“Well, as a former prosecutor, I will tell you, I don’t speak about anybody else’s case. But I have full confidence that the Department of Justice will do what the facts and the law requires”, the vice president said.
“How about some of the rhetoric that’s coming out from Trump’s allies? Do you have any reaction to the attempted attack on a FBI field office yesterday?” the reporter said.
“I will say, as a former prosecutor, but as a citizen of our nation, any attacks on law enforcement are completely unacceptable. And any so-called leader who engages in rhetoric that in any way suggests that that law enforcement should be exposed to that kind of danger is irresponsible and can result in dangerous activities”, the vice president said.
“You know, our law enforcement professionals — and, in this case, we’re talking about our federal law enforcement agencies — they do very important work. And from the moment they walk out the door of their home until they go back in, their families pray for their safety and well-being.
“And I think it’s just highly irresponsible of anyone who calls themselves a leader and certainly anyone who represents the United States of America to engage in rhetoric for the sake of some political objective that can result in harm to law enforcement officers and agents”, she said.
