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Putting pressure of children would simply ruin their lives

Oped

Putting pressure of children would simply ruin their lives

Shahnaz Choudhury

Most of the parents are generally concerned about the future of their children and they adopt the policy of putting pressure with the hope of making them attentive to studies so that those children can succeed in their lives. In the Asian nations, parents are particularly seen showing too much concern about their children’s future. But, possibly most of us are not aware – such consistent pressure on the children simply cause extreme mental stress thus finally ruining their lives. In most cases, children lose interest in education and even get inclined towards drugs and even worst. Some of the children even adopt the notorious lifestyle – either they join crime or militancy, with the hope of liberating themselves from the mental stigma and extreme frustration.

We never should frustrate our children by saying they were worthless and would be able of doing anything great in their lives. We need to remember; our wrong actions would just ruin the lives of our children and kill the inner spirit and dreams in them thus finally turning them into a huge liability to the society.

We need to grant full liberty to our children in choosing their future career, and of course, totally refrain from exerting pressure on them to studies. We must know, children would automatically become attentive to studies only when they can finalize their future ambitions and dream. We have to rather help our children in becoming visionaries – we need to be their best friends – not some elements which would continuously threaten or even turn into corporal punishers.

Let me share two instances.

A son of a neighbor was failing in scoring minimum marks for passing school exams. He was seen as the worst student by his teachers and classmates. Finally, the parents sent the boy to madrassa – where he had to study for nine years. But at the age of 14, the boy started realizing, madrassa education would actually kill his future ambition. He as not dreaming of becoming a clergyman or a madrassa teacher. His dream was something else. So, he expressed his willingness to switch to the general education system. His parents knew the general education system was not for their son, as he had earlier been a total failure in the school. Still, the boy insisted and his parents almost unwillingly agreed to shift him to the general educational school. He got admitted in standard IX in science faculty. And onwards, he started proving himself to be a brilliant student and finally stood first class first in his Masters and become a successful engineer. He was offered job by a number of local and international organizations and finally, he moved to the United States.

My son is studying biomedical engineering at the Chinese University of Hong Kong with hundred percent scholarship. But, until during his childhood, he never showed interest in studies. He was regularly skipping schools. Even at home, he was showing more interest in playing video games. Instead of reading his school textbooks, he was reading books on science, religion, history, etc. Sometimes it made me worried as he was obtaining extremely poor marks during each of his final exams.

But, as he got promoted to standard VIII, he suddenly became attentive to studies. As a result, he had excellent results in his O-levels and A-levels exams. From a backbencher, he turned into the best student of his school and by the grace of God, he succeeded in obtaining the highest marks in Bangladesh in his A-levels exams in 2018. In the university, he is going to have two majors – biomedical engineering and computer science.

Why I have mentioned there two instances? Because, just for everyone to understand, children actually will automatically become attentive to their studies, once they are granted the full liberty of choosing their future career. It is not necessary at all for any of us to be worried about their studies. Instead, let us just give them our affection and love. Let us have confidence in them and let us believe – our children are going to be successful in their lives. This is important.

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